is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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