If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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