I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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