ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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