well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no you cant smoke seaweed
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
