just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
