I CAN MOONWALK!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
