people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How's work?
Spinning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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