I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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