yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
