The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
