it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
