I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
