you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
