i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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