My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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