covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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