well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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