Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize