walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
