i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
