Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize