so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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