I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
