Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
