I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
