You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
