Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
