NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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