She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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