i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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