That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
