i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
