im about as happy as oj after his trial
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
