Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
