Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
