I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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