Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
