On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
