did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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