I accidentally had phone sex last night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
