Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
