Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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