if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
