I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
