I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
