She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
