just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize