Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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