I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
