so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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