Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
