just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
