Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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