Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
