I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
