So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
