Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
