So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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