from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
