I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
