Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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