In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i don't like sucking hair
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love you.
Bad choice
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
