What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
