This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
