Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
