i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
