hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
