There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
