party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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